If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple

Luke 14:26

Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  Heaven and Earth will pass away before any one of His words passes away.  Many people would like to interpret this passage into obscurity, equating it with similar, albeit, related scriptures, such as this one.

He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.  And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.  He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.

Matthew 10:37-39

The problem with taking this approach, is that it denies the first scripture.  These verses are quite assuredly saying much the same thing, yet Jesus explicitly uses the word hate, and therefore, despite much of the church world today not liking this, and shying away from this word, it is absolutely correct to use it, in the correct context, simply because Jesus did.  It is the Father’s word.

These two verses do mean very similar, and related things, but are different.  The first does indicate loving and preferring someone more than Jesus.  Jesus is first, always.  We seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33).  But, the other verse, although enigmatic to some, means exactly what it says, from the right perspective.

Consider this passage:

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.

Mark 8:35

Jesus is speaking of two different “lives” here, using the same word.  While this may seem confusing at first, it is quite simple.  For many, their “life” here on earth, and everything they love, stands directly in the way of them coming to the Lord, and producing a 100-fold return (our goal).  The parts of our earthly life, our old nature, that we want to save, will cause us to lose that in our heavenly life.  Whereas, when we lose our life for Him and His Gospel, we save our life eternally.

Really, the “hatred” from Luke 14 is no different.  If we really believed Mark 8:35, we would hate everything to do with our earthly life.  As Paul exhorts, “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” (Colossians 3:5).  When we hate that which pertains to our earthly nature, we want to kill it.  When we want to cling to it, preserve it, and live in it, we lose our heavenly life.

As Jesus said in another place,

No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.

Luke 16:13

The truth comes down to this point.  You WILL either hate one and love the other.  You WILL either live by the Spirit, or live by the flesh.  You CANNOT serve two masters.

Jesus said,  “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30).  He said that, when properly followed and believed in, is actually not burdensome to the soul, is not a heavy load to bear.  To live fully yoked to the Spirit of Life, the Spirit of Truth, the Spirit of Holiness, is actually a light and easy yoke to live, day by day.

Yet, as many things in our modern church vernacular, we have somehow lost the vocabulary of hate.  Christianity is made out to be a religion only of love.  But, we must not forget that we will only serve one master.  We must not forget that we will each be rewarded for our deeds and our words.  We must not forget that we serve a just judge, who will serve everyone justly for what they have done.

Jesus said, unless we HATE those near us, unless we HATE our own life, we cannot be His disciple.  There is a part of you that you are commanded to hate.  Your earthly, fallen nature.  There is a part of others that you are commanded to hate.  Their earthly, fallen nature.

You do not get along with sin.  You cannot fellowship with the spirit of Belial (2 Corinthians 6:15).  You do not “get along” with a devil, ever.

As Paul writes in Romans, it is not I that sin, it is sin in me.  The point is not to hate people.  People regenerated by the Holy Spirit, though they still make mistakes, are loved by the Father.  But, to sow to the flesh is to reap corruption.  To fellowship with bad company corrupts good character.  There is a way to hate the fallen part of an unsaved person, or a brother in struggle, and yet love what God loves of them.  In fact, this is not only the only way to be Jesus’ disciple, and it is actually the MOST loving in the total sum of things.

Even take Jesus as He talked His disciples and asked them who they thought He was.  Peter responded He was the Christ.  But, right after that, Peter tried talking Jesus out of going to the cross.  Whether He was addressing an evil spirit or Peter himself with His next words, Jesus had no problem with saying to the one talking, “Get thee behind me Satan!  For you do not have in mind the things of God, but of men.”  (Mark 8:33).  Jesus didn’t really mind the offence that might have created then, or in John 6, when many walked away because His teaching was “too hard”.

Jesus wasn’t after their intellect, He was after their hearts and spirits.  He wasn’t after the parts of them that could “understand”, so much as he was after the parts within that would “know”.  To know the unknowable, because it is given of them by God.  To respond to a call, because they did not choose Him, but He chose them.  To come to the Father, because and only because the Father has drawn them.

Unless you HATE your father, mother, bothers, sisters, wife, husband, children, and even your own life, you cannot be His disciple.  Until you differentiate between the soulish, earthly, carnal part of a person, and that of yourself, and hate that, and see the spirit and God’s plan, you cannot be His disciple.  This was true at salvation, when the cry was to “repent”, to hate those things you formerly did, and it is true at every step along to road to Calvary.  Unless you hate what you have, you will unconsciously hold onto some part of it at some time.  Until you absolutely hate everything this world can offer, agreeing with what Paul’s claim that the world was crucified to him, you are not completely free.

So, what will you have left if you absolutely crucify everything in this life?  Well, Jesus answered that too..  ““I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (John 14:18).  By His Holy Spirit, dwelling in us, He is our portion in this life, as well as the next

What else would these words mean but this:

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.

Matthew 13:44