And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.  My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.

Matthew 18:34-35

Jesus has commanded that we love one another, and in order to do this, we must be willing to forgive.  Total forgiveness may begin with an act of the will, but always must proceed to the depths of the heart.  Forgiveness is being willing to live with the consequences of another’s actions.

In order to forgive, you must first be willing to say, “that was wrong.” When there is no attributable wrong, how can there be forgiveness?  If you cannot say it was wrong, what are you forgiving?  What forgiveness is not is trying to minimize the hurt so that no offense can take root.  This may seem profitable in the short run, but lacks the integrity to go the distance.  No, rather, when someone does something wrong, it is important to acknowledge that what was done was wrong.  It is from this place that all forgiveness can happen.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:14-15

Jesus said that as we forgive our brothers, we will be forgiven.

When we truly let someone go from our heart, all ill will goes along with it.  All the need for flight or retaliation goes with it.  It never justifies another’s actions, as saying “That was wrong” is still the truth.  It does not necessarily mean the relationship will be mended, restored, or even continued at all. If the other person is insistent upon continuing to hurt, and you are capable of removing yourself, by all means, follow the Spirit!

But, true forgiveness costs!  It goes hand in hand with being the servant of all.  You get to clean up after everyone else’s messes, their inability to do things right, their immaturity in following the Spirit, their incapacity to be absolutely loving, and to only pick up their slack, as well as your own, and cover over offenses in the name of love (Proverbs 17:9).

The greatest lover of all, the Father, gave His son to cover every single one of our offenses, because He sought love for us.  The greatest giver of all time gave Himself in obedience our of love for His friends.

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love (Galatians 5:6).

When we let go of our offenses, our hurt can go right along with it.  As we know that we have peace with the Father, for we have love one to another, we can set our hearts at rest in His presence, even when our hearts condemn us (1 John 3:19-20).

The greatest act of forgiveness may be hard, but if it is hard to let go, it is always because there are reasons behind it that either leave one feeling justified or that they would rather hold onto it than face other consequences.  Sometimes, it is felt that the anger can be a protection, but what type of protection could it serve if it leaves one liable to the Father?  Some feel it is deserved, but then, if we went on what people deserved, we have all fallen short of the standard of holiness (Romans 3:23).

The end sum of the matter is, is that love suffers long (1 Corinthians 13:4).  It endures to the end, and it does not fail.  All sin is a sin because it violates love and damages relationships.  Relationships are the the most important thing in this world, God first, and then our brothers and sisters, because the only things that matter are the things that last.

John the Baptist called out,

All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.

Isaiah 40:6-8 (portion)

His message was the message of Eternity.  Jesus could be on the cross and give us His life, because He knew that the greater lay Beyond.  If He lived for ‘today’, He could not have withstood it. But he endured the cross, despising the shame, because He knew that something greater lie Beyond (Hebrews 12:2).  His eyes were on the Kingdom, on the Eternal, on the Father.

What is a temporary loss of the transient goods of this Earth, which are here today and gone tomorrow.  Better to be defrauded.

Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?

1 Corinthians 6:7 (portion)

This is the end of forgiveness.  When your eyes are fixed on what cannot be taken away.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:19-21

There is nothing in this life that can compare to the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 13:44).  It is worth everything.  Every offense, every anger, every other thing–anything that takes the eyes off of the thing that truly matters–must be despised (Luke 14:26, Luke 13:24).

It is worth it.  It is hard.  It is a small door, and a narrow road, but He is faithful to supply–if you can trust Him, if you can lift your eyes up above this life.  Life is but a vapor, and then it’s gone.  Whether it’s on a cross or in a bed, we are given over to death, and when that day comes, only He matters.